Are You Accidentally Shutting Other Family Members out of Caregiving?

It might be difficult to believe, but you can actually be doing things that keep other family members from helping you more. Believing that they don’t really want to help or assuming that they won’t are just two of the mistakes you could be making.

It’s not uncommon for your perception of a situation to be slightly different from another person’s. Your belief, for example, could be that your other family members haven’t tried much to pitch in with your loved one’s care, and that may well be true. It could also be, however, that they’ve tried to help in their own ways and felt shut down. Some people stop offering help pretty quickly when that happens, so you might have missed their best offers inadvertently.Really Look at Whether They’ve Tried to Help

Assess that Family Member’s Situation a Little More Creatively

You may believe, again from your perspective, that your other family members have a lot more ability to help than they truly do. Try looking at your family member’s situation a little more closely and creatively. It’s possible that they truly don’t have time to spare due to having young kids with lots of activities. Or possibly they have health problems that limit them more than you realize. There are a lot of variables that can be at play here.

Be Honest with Yourself

At some point, you may also need to be more honest with yourself. Is it possible that you’re asking for help and yet your actions are telling people that you don’t want their help? This can happen when you’re overly controlling about how something is done, for example, but it’s frustrating for the people around you because they would love to help but they feel left out.

Divide up Tasks They Can Handle

Start out by dividing up tasks into smaller ones that other family members might be better able to handle. Keep in mind any limitations that they might have on their time or budget that might keep them from being able to handle even smaller tasks. If they still can’t help, then it might be time to look into hiring home care providers so that you can get the help that you really need.

When you narrow down potential reasons that your other family members might not be helping more, you can work at finding a solution.